Eternity in an Instant
by Xandrabelle
Summary: History as told through the eyes of one of the unique characters in X/TB. It’s a love story, kinda. Pairing Subaru/Seishirou *COMPLETE*
1. Past

Summary: History as told through the eyes of one of the unique characters in X/TB. It's a love story, kinda. 

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns X and Tokyo Babylon. I hope they will forgive me for borrowing them. No profit is being made from this story.

Spoilers: If you don't know Subaru killed Seishirou in X then what are you doing reading this story? None of this would make any sense to you. If you already know, then it's not a spoiler. As for the history of the Sakurazukamori, well I don't really know any of it. I don't even have Tokyo Babylon beyond the 2 anime OVAs. So I'm pretty much making it all up as I go along. Please forgive if your sense of what's accurate is outraged.

Chapter 1: Past

I don't remember when I became aware. It was as if one day I realised that I was different from those around me. But there was no particular occurrence, no special event to mark that date. I simply just knew. And since there was nothing much I could do about it, I simply. stood there and time passed. At that time the land was wide and the sky stretched overhead and one could see from horizon to horizon. And as far as I reached, I felt nothing but the awareness of myself. I think it was then that I understood loneliness.

Then everything changed. One day when the sun rose as usual and I stood singing my own non-thoughts to myself, a creature appeared. Now it takes a lot to have me notice anything about my surroundings and since I had been so alone for so long, I never imagined that there would be others who were also aware. But there could be no mistaking it, the greeting that came from the creature. The similar sense of self that marked it as an individual. The astonishment that I sent out must have amused him because he produced a strange sound, which I later learnt was laughter. 

He spoke to me, mind to mind. "I have felt you," he said. "You sing beautifully."

The compliment produced a surge of warmth through my consciousness. Was it joy? I was certainly delighted by the newness of the discovery that there were other sentients in existence. I sent a question, _What are you?_

The creature was all too willing to explain to me. "I am a man."

__

You are different, I thought to him. _You are aware of self?_

"Yes," he answered. "Where I live, there are many men, all aware."

I was awestruck by the thought that there were more like him. 

Then he laughed again. "But not everyone will be able to speak with you. Only a few who are able to see beyond the ordinary will be aware of you."

__

Strange, I told him.

"That is how this world works. My name by the way, is Subaru." He said.

__

Do I have a name? I wondered.

"I suppose you do. You are a Sakura tree." Subaru informed me.

__

Sakura... that's... nice. This naming business was interesting. It highlighted even more to me the sense of my individuality. And while before I might have minded the feeling as it only emphasized my loneliness, now I was happy that I could share with someone the knowledge of my existence. 

"Will you be my friend?" He asked.

__

Friend? I did not know what he meant.

"Yes a friend. Another being who understands, helps and support. Someone to share things with." He explained.

__

Gladly, I answered.

The days that followed were some of the most interesting times I ever had. Subaru came by often. And we would converse about anything and everything. I understood that as a man, he could move about and was not rooted to a spot. He also explained to me that he had needs, like sleeping. In fact, I rather enjoyed singing to him as he fell asleep by the base of my body. He told me many times that I had a beautiful song.

As I sang to him, he also told me that he loved the beautiful flowers that crowned me. And to please him, I made myself bloom and bloom; pure, soft, white blooms, fragrant with scent. So prolific was I that the ground all around was always carpeted with the petals of my white blooms. I remember how he delighted in laying on that velvety bed whenever he came to visit.

I did not realise his fondness for my company was drawing the attention of other people. One day while he sat beneath the canopy of my branches, another appeared. I remember that we were holding converse on the nature of the stars. Subaru had told me he was named after a constellation in the heavens. I was contemplating how the light of his soul reflected the light that I observed in the night sky above. 

The other had come up and spoke suddenly to Subaru. "Subaru, who are you talking to?"

Subaru, whose heart was pure and innocent of any deceit, simply pointed to me and said, "The Sakura."

The other though appeared agitated by the answer. "Come away from there, Subaru. It's not right for you to be thinking you're talking to a tree."

Subaru was justifiably unhappy not to be believed but merely said sweetly, "I'm not thinking that I'm talking to a tree. I AM talking to Sakura."

__

Greetings, I tried to send the thought to this new man. But it seemed he was one of the ones Subaru mentioned who wouldn't be able to hear me. 

"Subaru, your family is concerned that you spend all your time here. It is unhealthy for you to be lazing about here with a tree. You should be occupied with some other more useful matters..." The other man took Subaru's hand and tried to drag him away as if he were an errant child.

That's when a new feeling washed over me. I learnt later that it was anger. At that moment, this feeling caused me to shake my limbs and extend my power to push the man away from Subaru. I had acted without knowing the consequences. But even knowing now, I don't think I would have done anything different.

The effect of my push was electrifying. The man jumped literally two feet into the air. He gave a loud yell and let go of Subaru. Then he continued making more screaming noises as he ran away.

Subaru was again laughing. "I didn't know you could do that, Sakura." He said.

__

I didn't know either, I replied. W_as it all right?_

"I don't think you hurt him if that's what you were worried about. But I wonder if that was the best thing you could have done." He said with some concern.

I didn't understand and Subaru didn't explain further. He soon left me to return home and I put all thought of the day's incident from my mind.

That night as I stood under the starlight, singing quietly to myself, I became aware of the presence of many others. A group of men was marching towards me, led by the Other who had come this afternoon. They held lights and made much noise, scaring away the woodland critters who lived under my shade. At that time, I did not realise the danger I was in. 

__

Greetings, I sang the thought to these new ones. I was perhaps childishly hoping for more to make friends with.

But there was no answer.

The men had stopped beneath my shade. One of them spoke up, "Are you sure this is the tree where Subaru spends all his time?"

"It's this one all right. It's a demon tree. It attacked me!" The Other from this afternoon insisted.

The men muttered among themselves. I did not understand what the Other had meant by the word "demon." But I was concerned that perhaps I had injured him this afternoon. So I sent one of my limbs down to stroke him gently.

The effect was far from what I'd planned. The Other shrieked in terror. The other men also made sounds of distress. One of them swung a torch at my limb. Now living in those innocent days, I had no concept of the danger of fire. I had never seen nor felt the all consuming heat that was such a danger to my kind. So it went without saying that the pain from my burning limb caught me totally off guard. 

Rooted as I was to the spot, all I could do was thrash my branches about in agony. And with the pain, came the feeling of anger again. I pushed with all my power at everything around me. All the men who were gathered there flew backwards away from me, pushed by the invisible force of my will. 

"Stop! What are you doing here?" A voice cried out. It was a moment before I identified it as Subaru. I was at that point frightened and in pain, my normally serene song had changed into cacophonic chords.

Subaru whipped his cloak off and began beating the flames away from my branches. Soon the fire was put out, but my limb was left charred and injured. I stood there, wondering why, why would these others hurt me so?

The men whom I had pushed away began regrouping. As they advanced on Subaru and I, one of them said, "We're doing this for you, Subaru. This is an evil demon tree. It's ensnared you and got you all confused. We have to kill it before it's too late!"

"No you're wrong. This is my friend. She means no harm. She is merely aware and so lonely." Subaru did his best to explain to them.

But they would not listen and continued coming closer, all the while waving their flames at me.

I grew even more frightened. I did not want the fire to come any more closer to me. In my fear, I screamed at Subaru. The sound caused him to clap his hands to his head. The men took the opportunity of his distraction to surround him and try to burn me again. He cried to me, "Help me, Sakura!"

I did not really know what he meant but in that instant, I instinctively sent my power out to him, for him to use. The result was immediate. Everyone, including myself was pulled into a maboroshi. There Subaru controlled everything and he was able to extinguish the torches. But that wasn't enough for my fear or my anger. With my power, I extended my limbs to grow into sharp pointed ends and with quick stabs I ran all the men through.

When Subaru released his illusion, the men remained impaled on the ends of my branches. Red blood flowed down onto the ground. Subaru was kneeling by my immense trunk, his hands covering his eyes, his shoulders shaking. 

__

What's wrong? I sent the query to him.

That only made him sob harder. My roots absorbed the sodium rich content of his tears, but I did not understand why he was leaking salty water. 

"We have done a bad thing, an unforgivable thing!" He cried. 

__

I do not understand. I wanted him to explain to me. In a sense I understood that the idyllic tranquil from this morning was lost forever more.

"This is death," he said brokenly. 

__

Death? What was the idea of death to me, who had lived since the dawn of time.

"Yes, death. We have killed people. These people will never return to their loved ones. They will never be able to continue their lives. We have taken away their awareness from them!" Subaru was still crying. In a way he was angry with me for having taken away his innocence.

I understood at last. So this was death, the loss of self, of awareness of other individuals. My limbs trembled and the corpses slid from them. The blood from their bodies continue to seep into the ground of my roots.

Subaru was growing more and more hysterical. Suddenly from the ground where one of the corpses lay, he snatched up a sharp knife. He was crying out something about never being able to cleanse this stain. Then he plunged the knife right into his stomach.

As my consciousness registered the import of what he had done, I heard another cry. Running up to Subaru was a small human. 

"Papa! Papa!" The child had reached Subaru and was crying over him.

Subaru raised his eyes and saw the child. "My son, I'm sorry."

"Don't leave me, Papa. You're all I have!" The child exclaimed.

Subaru sighed as his lifeblood flowed from him. "Destiny has set that we must part. Be strong, Akito."

Akito though was too occupied sobbing his heart out. As for me, I was keening at the realisation of Subaru's impending death. All I could do was send out, _Don't leave me alone!_

Subaru appeared to have heard my distress and understood the fear in my mind of being alone again. "Sakura, I'm going to give you a gift." He gasped breathlessly. 

Holding onto Akito he said, "My son, know that I am proud of you. But I now leave you with an onerous charge. This is my friend Sakura. I want you to protect her. This is my wish." At Akito's wide-eyed nod, Subaru gathered the last of his power and bound his son's destiny to mine. 

Then he died.

There on the mound by my roots, Akito buried his father and the men who died trying to harm me. 

And so Akito became the first Sakurazukamori. But it was Subaru who was my first guardian, though I loved him for having been my friend first and foremost.

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2 is coming up soon. Please feedback?


	2. Present

Summary: History as told through the eyes of one of the unique characters in X/TB. It's a love story, kinda. 

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns X and Tokyo Babylon. I hope they will forgive me for borrowing them. No profit is being made from this story. I'm glad to hear from someone that CLAMP allows people the use of their characters for fanfics. Yay, CLAMP is cool.

Spoilers: Er, Subaru kills Seishirou. If you didn't know that, I'm sorry, now you do. As for the history of the Sakurazukamori, well I don't really know any of it. I don't have the Tokyo Babylon manga. I only have the DVD with the 2 anime OVAs. I'm pretty much making it all up as I go along. Please forgive if your sense of what's accurate is outraged.

Chapter 2: Present

None of my protectors was ever the same as Subaru. He was my first friend, the first to accept me and lift me from my loneliness and I loved him for it. Yes, loved, an emotion I came to understand only much later through the years of studying the various people who became my guardians. Akito was a decent lad, he could hear me but his understanding of who I am was shallow. I did not blame him for it. It took years for my song to change from the keening requiem that I had composed for Subaru to something mellower. By that time, Akito had passed his charge to his son and his son's son. My guardians all possessed incredible power, which was a gift from me so that they need never fear the mobs with flame again. 

Something had changed within me as well. Where before I used to bloom pure white soft flowers, now my velvety blooms were pink. It was just as well, I thought. A mark to indicate the blood of the men now buried beneath my roots. But in memory of Subaru, I continued blooming, even when out of season. For many years I stood, in a state of half-dreaming. In the beginning, I did not thirst nor require sacrifices. Occasionally one of my guardians would catch some despoiler trying to harm me and that person would end up staining my flowers anew. But the blood was not a necessity. However as the years wore on and the earth changed, I began to find a lack of nourishment from the soil. 

I think it had something to do with the way the energy of the earth was being used up. Some of my guardians had called it pollution. Whatever it was, I found the magic power that I could absorb from the earth lessening. It was then that I began to fade. At the time I did not care. I wondered that if I died, would I be reunited with my Subaru? One of my guardians had explained to me the idea of souls and how they were supposed to gather together in the afterlife. I would have been willing to die to find out.

But one of my more ruthless guardians then began to kill for me. Looking back, I think he might have loved me and did not wish me to disappear. After all I had been in his family for countless eons. Surprisingly, the magic from the ritual sacrifice did revive me. And the blood kept my blooms stained pink. 

I stayed in that strange half dreaming state until one fateful day. My guardian, the latest in a long line of Sakurazukas was offering to me a young girl. As he knelt there with her blood on his hands, a young child came up. I barely noticed him as I barely noticed anything these days. But something about him woke me up. 

The child was doing something with his power. I think he actually wanted to exorcise me. My mind was in a state of confusion. The human child before me glowed with the same inner aura that marked my first friend, Subaru. How was this possible? My guardian, Seishirou had noticed his activities and was advancing to take care of the problem for me. 

__

Stop, I commanded. _Don't hurt. _

Seishirou stopped. He was taken aback by my speaking to him. It was hard for me to get through to him. It had been many years since I had directly conversed with any of my guardians and I was rusty. I could sense the tentative question of why forming in his thoughts, plus his inner conviction that anyone who threatened the Sakura would have to be dealt with. Ah, he had been well drilled to protect me by his mother, my former guardian. 

I did not know if I could explain everything to him in time. So instead I sang. I sang of my love for my lost friend, I sang of my sorrow in a wordless song. I sang of my hopes, for a Future, together. 

The force of my song rocked Seishirou. I could tell he was struggling to understand. I realised then that he had never felt much for anything before, his mother having raised him that way. But some of my emotions must have penetrated because he was then looking at the child oddly. He summoned up his illusion and enveloped us all in it. He was now conversing with the child, telling him about me, why my blooms were stained pink. I was hardly paying attention. I continued to sing my heart out and the effect translated into a strong wind blowing at them in the maboroshi. 

I heard Seishirou make a promise to come to the child in the future and that if he could make him feel anything for him, he would live. Then he marked him so he could find him again. For now Subaru was out of danger, I had to be content with that. 

Time must have passed while I contemplated the reappearance of my Subaru. I did not know how this could be but I was convinced it was my first friend come alive again. I was busy composing a new song to sing to him for when I next meet him. I remembered he had said that he loved my singing. 

Before I knew it, the youth that was Seishirou had transformed into a young man. I realised he had sought out Subaru as well. I wondered why he would do that. Was he influenced by the feelings that I had placed in my song?

Idly I paid attention to what Subaru was doing and I grew alarmed. The boy was reckless! He plunged headlong into helping people and put himself into all sorts of danger. How his nature hadn't changed. He was still so innocent, still so willing to extend himself to help others. I found myself missing him anew. But this getting into danger was simply not acceptable. Somehow I managed to convey that sentiment to Seishirou and he made an effort to protect him. Now, I wonder if Seishirou thought he was doing it of his own volition.

I don't know when Seishirou realised that my emotions had been manipulating him. Perhaps it was when he found himself lunging forward when a crazy woman drew a knife to attack Subaru. When I saw what was to happen, I had automatically screamed my distress and compelled Seishirou to help Subaru. At that moment, Seishirou knew his feelings and mine were separate. That it was my intense desire to be with Subaru he was feeling. I think that was when he tried to hurt me by telling Subaru he'd lost his bet and breaking his arm. Fortunately one of Subaru's relatives intervened before Seishirou could hurt him further. I was also angry and withdrew my power momentarily and so Seishirou was turned from his purpose. 

Now being at odds with my guardian was disagreeable to me and I made an effort to reconcile with Seishirou. After all, was he not of the same blood as my first guardian? I sang soothing apologies to him and tried to make him realise how I felt. But his was an untamed personality and his anger was only placated with he sacrificed Hokuto, Subaru's twin to me. I think his reasoning was to give Subaru a hatred for me. For a long time after that I sorrowed.

Now that I was fully awake, my dealings with my guardian changed. For the longest time, I had been content to simply exist, and take sustenance from the occasional sacrifices my guardians gave me. Most of the time, all the response my guardians felt from me was hunger. But with Seishirou, I decided to take a more active approach. I sang to him, not the innocent song I sang to Subaru, but a far more seductive tune, though just as beautiful all the same. 

Seishirou I could tell was intrigued to discover that I had a personality. We would often engage in long conversations and I was happy to find that he had a sense of humour. Indeed I grew very fond of him and I think he grew to love me. In my heart, I hoped he would forget his resentment at my affection for Subaru.

But no matter what I did, I think he never shook off a certain obsessiveness about Subaru. I wasn't sure if it was the lingering aftereffects of my desire to be with Subaru or if he truly had come to care for Subaru following the time they had spent together. Subaru, I mused, was like that. Utterly mesmerizing to whomever he came in contact with.

Seasons turned and one day I could feel something change in the earth. It was as if the spirit, the will of the earth to survive had been given form. Something was going to happen and Seishirou was mixed up in it. I knew he had met Subaru again, but no harm had come to either of them in their confrontation. I hoped my current guardian would have the sense to leave well enough alone. I did not realise it was Subaru who was actively seeking him out.

But I think some of the old resentment must have remained because one day, I noticed him observing a titanic battle. Initially it only involved two others, whose auras brightly signaled them as people with immense power. But soon after, I was surprised by the appearance of the unique spark that I identified as Subaru. Seishirou though kept well away and did nothing even when I realised Subaru was in danger. All my exhortations to him to do something fell on deaf ears. And Subaru was injured. 

I found myself oddly disappointed with my protector. I also realised this was a situation that could come to no good. Something had to be done and done soon.

However, I could think of no way out of this painful circumstance. Whatever my feelings may be, Seishirou was a good guardian. True, he made use of the gift of power I had given him for his own benefit, but I knew at heart he could be capable of gentleness. I wanted him to love Subaru as much as I did. Little did I know that wasn't the problem, he already loved him, just as he loved me. Later I came to understand that he was merely feeling conflicted because he could not reconcile that I loved Subaru as well.

With things being so difficult, my song grew mournful. I knew that Subaru wasn't even aware of my feelings for him. He had never come near me since his visit as a child despite my singing my song for him. Certainly Seishirou never indicated my presence to him as anything other than an object he served. I resolved that it might not be a bad thing for me to fade away, then Seishirou would have no cause to resent me.

Unknown to me, Seishirou had his own plan. The first inkling I had that something was not right was when I noticed him meeting Subaru one night. He had been sacrificing someone to me which kept my attention on him. Little did I know he had intended just that. 

The two hardly spoke a few sentences to each other before Seishirou began to engage Subaru in a battle.

__

What are you doing? Why do you want to hurt each other? I sent the thought to him, a little frantic.

But he ignored me and instead used my power to pull Subaru into an illusion. There I began to sing a calming song to both of them. It didn't work. I even tried to bind Subaru up in my limbs to stop him from attacking but he cut himself and used his blood to force me to release him. I let him go, not wishing to hurt him.

And then it happened. For a moment I thought Seishirou was going to kill Subaru. But instead, incredibly, Subaru had pierced Seishirou's heart with his hand. I was totally astounded. 

Seishirou then explained Hokuto's spell. I was furious when I realised what he had done. The foolish man! He had meant to commit suicide! I could hear him in my mind, whispering to me, "I'm sorry. But I'm so happy. The two whom I love will be together in the end."

__

Oh Seishirou, how can you leave me, I love you as well, I lamented. 

Aloud he whispered his love for Subaru while in his mind he whispered his love for me. 

Then he died. 

The loss of my protector whom I had grown to love hit me hard. I sang my requiem song again. Countless years ago I had sung it for Subaru and thought never to have to sing it again. I never thought I would come to care for someone again. How wrong I was! Somehow Seishirou had wormed his way into my heart. I soon lost myself in a sort of timeless misery.

Then one day I heard a gentle voice say, "So you're the one singing the song I've been hearing. It is so sad."

I fell silent from utter astonishment. _Su.. Subaru? _I stammered.

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

__

I know everything about you. The light of your soul shines to me. I wondered if he would understand if I told him that I had missed and loved him for countless centuries. 

"I have accepted Seishirou-san's wish for me to be the Sakurazukamori." He informed me.

So this was how Seishirou had planned to get us both together. It was then I knew that he did indeed love the two of us. I thanked him silently for his gift. 

__

I am Sakura. May I sing you a song? I asked Subaru shyly.

"Please..." he replied politely.

And so I sang, the song which I had composed for him, a version of the one which he had enjoyed so much all those years ago. It was my reflection of his name, of how it was a light from the heavens which I transmuted into music. As I sang, he sat down on the carpet of my velvety petals, just like he had all those years ago and I was overjoyed.

"It's beautiful," he murmured. 

I know that the road ahead would be hard. Subaru is still such a gentle soul. The last lifetime he had killed himself after staining his hands with blood. Will he be stronger this time round? 

I am also aware of my fading strength. The earth can no longer sustain me, but I can not ask Subaru to sacrifice any more people to me. I who have lived for millennia now face death, awash in the blood of countless others who had been sacrificed so I might live. I am afraid. But I must strive to hide this from my new protector.

These are heavy concerns weighing down on me. I also know that the battle for the earth's revival or humanity's destruction is looming over us. What will the future hold?

Still for now, I am at peace and I think, so is Subaru. He seems content to listen to my song and we spend our days in quiet conversation. But I have a hope. Perhaps in the instant when the world is destroyed, the three of us can be reunited and find peace together in eternity.

~ Owari ~

~~~~~

Notes: I can't believe I wrote a story like this. It's just so weird. I started out wanting to explore the thoughts of an inanimate character in X. Somehow I settled on the tree and the story just grew and grew into a love triangle. Gulp. I hope you enjoyed the story. I'm not sure I'm any good writing a lyrical narrative from the first person perspective. Did anyone feel sad for the Sakura? I'm embarrassed to say I did shed a tear for her towards the end, I was just so carried away with the thought that she's going to die. I hope there weren't too many inaccuracies as I tried to work in the events in the X timeline. All feedback appreciated.


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